Dear God,

this past week has been challenging to say the least. I’ve been tested and stretched emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. From what I’ve heard, you were responsible for all of this. And I just feel like I should ask: “Why?”

I really hope that you are doing all this to me for a reason because, I’ll be terribly upset if at the end of the world, you tell me that you did that just for fun. I hope that all this is useful as you judge who’s been good and who’s been bad and who deserves a place in that much hyped about place that some people call Heaven. To think about it, there’s nothing much I can do about it if you really said that it was all for fun.

There are times where I wonder “Do I deserve this?”. But I’ve become a little bit wiser now, knowing that it is a pointless question to ask. Maybe I haven’t been good and that this is all just bad karma in play or perhaps it’s just the way that you’ve planned for it.

But, although you’ve got it planned, I think all is not lost. You might disagree with me or nod in quiet agreement when I say that fate isn’t something to be accepted blindly. While some events are ‘fated’ to happen, how we react and chart our way from it is really up to us. I’ld really like to believe that I can make a difference in how I eventually lead and end it. That’s a conversation for another time, for now, back to these testing times that I’m experiencing.

Events such as those that have recently passed never fail to make me question things that I thought I knew. Sometimes we think we know ourself, those around us, those distant from us, our priorities and everything else. And in such testing times, I start to see myself and others more clearly. These can really be life-changing.

I’m sure you’ve heard some people getting all angry and furious and hurl verbal abuse at you when life doesn’t go the way that they envision it. Just to make it clear, I’m not of that sort and you, being the all-seeing one, should know that. That said, it doesn’t mean that I’m fine with all the mess that you’ve been putting me through. I would rather you let me live that other dream that I have. You know the one where I get to lie down on a nice mat laid on a wonderful patch of grass (without ants),  read a Murakami book, with a beautiful, happy, loving wife by my side and a couple of jolly kids running around enjoying themselves.

Anyway, since that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon, I just hope that you help me out a bit by putting my life back in relatively decent order.  I’m always ready for it whenever you are. But in case, you don’t think I deserve it anytime soon, it’s still ok. I still want to thank you for giving me the chance to experience this world, even though most of the times through sadness and dissapointment.  Through the series of challenges that you’ve put me since I was a baby, you’ve given me the eyes to see beyond pleasure and pain and hence the ability to enjoy the smallest things.
I have to end this letter now but as an end point,  it is my hope that you just take a peek into my ‘fate-book’ and see if you can do something to make life a bit better for me. I’ll be eternally grateful for it. Seriously.

Cheers.

P.S.  Just in case you are wondering, I would really like good health for myself and my family.  A pleasant and wonderful life like the dream that I mentioned in the letter would be great. Oh, and a bit of extra money to save and spend would be wonderful too. But really, I’ll leave it to you to decide ok?:)